Day 31

Today marks Brynn's 1 month birthday. She weighed in last night at 2 lbs 12 oz. which is exactly one pound above her lowest weight. We are so amazed by how "big" she is now that it's hard to realize that babies who are born at this weight are still considered "micro premies!" I think we need to plan for a big 3-lb party when she makes it to that marker.

In honor of her 1 month birthday, Brynn had to endure 4-5 nasal tube insertion efforts (with one final success), an invasive eye exam consisting of clipping her eyes open, removal of a picc line, insertion of a new IV, a blood transfusion, and a partridge in a pear tree. I may not be great at throwing birthday parties, but I'm pretty sure I'll be able to out-do this for her first birthday party when she turns 1! I was unfortunately there for several of the nasal tube insertion attempts and it was so hard for me to stand in the room while she cried out in pain and anger. I vividly remember when Riley had to have an IV placed for fluids when she was about 9 months old. It was so traumatic but at least I could hold her and comfort her. With Brynn, I don't feel like I can even be a source of comfort...all the research says that she recognizes my voice, but the more time I spend away from her and the more that nurses provide her day-to-day care, I feel like she must recognize me less and less.

On a positive note, her first eye exam showed that her retina is "immature." That might not sound like good news, but it means that there is no evidence that her retina is developing with problems. She'll continue to have eye exams on a weekly basis until discharged (and perhaps after that as well) until her retina is fully formed. Although we are not out of the woods entirely regarding retinopathy of prematurity, the news today couldn't have been better.

She got to try a bottle again tonight. Although she only took 5 ml of a 25 ml bottle, it seemed like a better experience overall because she didn't spit up any of it. She even burped audibly, making Blaine and I feel very proud! Trying to burp such a tiny baby is no easy task. Basically, I try to sit her up and hold my hand under her chin while patting her back and Blaine sits glued to her monitors to make sure she continues to breathe. Not stressful at all really.

I feel the need to once again say thank you to all of you who have helped us survive the last month. It certainly has not been easy, but it would have been unbearable without our family and friends.